


Near Life Experience

by invisibledeity



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bad end, Dissociation, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Poor Prompto, ardyn is a bit of a douche, but the real focus is noct's mental health, depersonalisation, derealisation, dissociative issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 14:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13459905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisibledeity/pseuds/invisibledeity
Summary: After months of persuasion, Noctis is finally seeking help for the mental issues he's having as a result of the Crystal's magic. Prompto's always been Noct's lifeline, his support, but as Noctis starts to improve, it's Prompto who begins to crack at the seams.





	Near Life Experience

**Author's Note:**

> Written after seeing a writing prompt (which I shall link at the end)

 

‘So Noct, how’d it go?’

            The message stood unanswered on his phone, the small tick icon next to it indicating that yes, Noctis had seen it. That was last night. Twelve hours, and not a word.

            Perhaps Noctis was just overwhelmed. It wasn’t an easy thing, after all, doing what he was doing. Prompto had spent months subtly urging him to get help, and it was just a blessed relief that Noctis had actually gone at all. So he tried to tell himself it’d be okay. He’d give him time.

            Only, by the time the day drew to a close, he had still heard no word. Noctis had conspicuously not turned up to class, and nobody seemed concerned about that, but then, who would dare judge a prince?

 

Prompto cornered him that evening, waiting by the metro station where he knew Noctis would be hopping off after his shift at the sushi bar. There, that familiar spiked array of black hair, so heavily styled yet somehow still looking so soft, peeking out amid the flurry of commuters and shoppers. He was busy listening to music, completely tuned out to the world, so Prompto tapped his shoulder to get his attention. A shiver, as though he’d been shocked, then Noctis turned.

            ‘Prom!’

            ‘Hey, buddy. Uh, how’d it go yesterday? Didn’t hear from you … I was a bit worried.’

            Noctis removed both earbuds and sighed, eking out a path away from the crowd. He stopped by a concrete bollard and rested against it, hands in his pockets now, sighing, barely looking at Prompto.

            Was he just ashamed of where he’d been? It would make sense — a psychiatrist’s office was not exactly the kind of place that the Prince of Insomnia ought to be checking in to. At least, not if he wanted the papers to remain silent.

            ‘We can go somewhere, uh, quieter, if you feel like it.’

            ‘It was fine,’ Noctis said abruptly. Okay, so they could just talk here. Prompto leaned against the tiled pillar beside him, a grotty thing that formed part of the station’s side entrance, but he hardly cared about getting his school shirt dirty. ‘She didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already suspect.’ A short laugh, and Prompto could tell he was fisting up his hands inside his pockets. ‘So how about that, huh?’ For the first time that day, Noctis looked directly at him. ‘Seems I really am crazy.’

            Prompto gazed back. ‘You’re not. You know that. You’re just … having a hard time, is all.’

            ‘Because of the Crystal’s magic?’ Noctis laughed bitterly. ‘Don’t give me that look.’

            ‘I’m sorry.’

            ‘She said I gotta get a hold of dissociating like this. I’m gonna try.’

            ‘Okay.’ It looked like Noctis wanted to go now, so Prompto placed a hand lightly on his shoulder. Normally he’d hug him, but there was something … different in Noct’s attitude, in the way he held himself, so Prompto hung back. ‘I’m really glad it went okay, though. I’m here if you need me.’

            A pause, a held breath while Noctis searched for words. Then he settled for saying ‘Thanks, Prom.’

 

A number of months and medication changes later, Noctis was finally well enough to accept his engagement to Lady Lunafreya of Tenebrae, and the wedding was scheduled to take place in the seaside city of Altissia. King Regis was allowing his son to go with the barest retinue alongside him, and this, if nothing else, was a real testament to how much his health had improved.

            The fact that Prompto had been allowed to come somehow went unchallenged. It was odd, but Prompto wasn’t about to pry into the whys and wherefores. Don’t look a gift horse, and all that.

            Noctis was still taking some medication along with him on the journey. Kind of a painful reminder, seeing the blue-striped prescription packets in the bags as they packed. Ignis had grumbled that it was ridiculous, that medicine didn’t fix dissociative issues, and yeah, that was true, but the pills certainly did a lot for Noctis’s mood, and to Prompto, that was the main thing here.

            Riding shotgun in the car now, watching Noctis dozing away contentedly in the backseat, Gladio beside him reading a book, and Ignis in the driver’s seat, eyes on the road and coffee in the cup holder, Prompto felt content. Things really were going to turn out okay. They’d be in Altissia in no time at all, and he’d get the chance to see Noctis wed to his childhood sweetheart. All as it should be.

            The car breaking down was a great turn of events, because it meant they got the chance to stop off at Hammerhead.

            ‘Hey now, which one of y’all’s the Prince?’

            Cindy was a vision as bright as the sun, strolling towards them all leisurely, hips swaying and eyes dazzling. Prompto’s heart leapt, because at first he thought she was looking straight at him, but no, she was focussed on Noctis, directly behind him. That was to be expected: royal presence had that effect on people, and it suited Prompto just fine most of the time, because he hated being the centre of attention.

            In this case, however, he would have been happy to get at least a hello or a smile. If Cindy would just look at him, a little.

            Ah well, it wasn’t important. He didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of getting with someone like her, but at least he could enjoy the view.

 

Looking back, perhaps everything would have been all right if the Empire hadn’t done an about-face while they were on the road. The peace treaty failing, the war re-igniting in the Capital, and above all else, the news of King Regis’s death. Noctis had delved right back down into a depressive spiral, and the only person who could comfort him was Prompto. Gladio and Ignis couldn’t even get close.

            ‘We’ll get through this,’ Prompto said, like he always did, squeezing Noctis’s hand while they dangled their feet over the ledge of a camping haven out in the middle of nowhere.

            Noctis’s eyes were pricking with tears. ‘I don’t … I don’t know if we can.’ 

            For precious few minutes, neither could think of anything to say, and the air lay pregnant with unasked questions as they stared up at the stars.

            Prompto wanted to curse, to lash out at things like Gladio was prone to do, because this was all so unfair. Noctis was the kindest, most caring person he’d ever known. He didn’t deserve this; being on the run, having his father so brutally murdered and his home destroyed and -

            Well, not like they all hadn’t lost something the day of the attack, but none of them had the same pressure as Noct did. And none of them had the … problems. It was no secret that Noctis had fallen back into bad patterns — he wasn’t sleeping that much, and when he did, he had terrible dreams, that much was apparent from the noises he made. He ate less, and there had been that one bad night at Wiz’s outpost where he’d gotten completely blind-drunk on elixirs.

            ‘We can! I promise.’

            Now Noctis sniffed, and gods above, his eyes were brimming, that was clear enough despite the darkness of night clustering around them.

            ‘I’m not so sure, Prom.’

            ‘Well I am. We got this, bro.’ He laughed, then fell into seriousness. ‘I know it doesn’t seem like it right now. But I’ll always have your back.’

            Finally, a smile. ‘Thanks,’ Noctis said, and Prompto smiled back. Then, Noctis blurted out with, ‘Hey, remember when we first met in college, and you pretended like it was the first time?’

            Oh, gods above, not this again. He recalled not wanting to embarrass himself by being remembered as ‘that fat kid’, but there was something else too, some other reason, and he just couldn’t quite grasp it.

            ‘I … yeah.’ No point making excuses, and Noctis seemed to appreciate that, because he smiled and nudged him now, skin so warm against his.

            ‘I feel like I’ve known you all my life,’ Noctis murmured. ‘I know some people want that to change. I know not everyone approves.’

            ‘Cos I’m “common”?’

            Noctis hesitated.

            ‘Yeah,’ he said at length. ‘Yeah … but I wanted to say. Even if they don’t agree with us, with — with you being here, I … I wouldn’t have it any other way. You were there for me when no-one else was. So thank you.’

            Prompto didn’t understand why that sounded so final.

 

Altissia was a disaster, and from then on, things only went from bad to worse. Noctis was unravelling second upon second, and his retainers had no idea on how to deal with it. It was like every time Prompto pulled him back from the brink, one of them — okay, mainly Gladio — was there to drag Noct back down into his depressive spiral with harsh words and misguided attempts to get him to pull together. They didn’t get it. Why was it so hard for them to understand? To empathise? Couldn’t they see how much he was hurting?

            As for Prompto, the thing that hurt most about Gladio shoving him on the train was the fact that nobody mentioned it afterwards.

            This whole trip had never been about him anyway, but, damn, was he really that unimportant?

 

Days later, in a darkened room in the heart of the enemy’s lair, everything became abruptly clear. Prompto had gotten so far after the train incident, only to be captured by the smarmy bastard who dared call himself Chancellor of Niflheim. And now, that self-same Chancellor stood before him, overjoyed and grinning, while he struggled fruitlessly in his bonds.

            ‘You don’t honestly think this was all real, do you? Come now, a perfectly ordinary-looking human being like yourself, secretly part of an enemy science project?’ Chancellor Ardyn Izunia was clearly enjoying goading him. He tried his hardest not to rise to the bait; the bruise on his nose was bad enough already. ‘A mass-produced weapon of warfare in the form of a weakling young lad who can scarce fire a gun and just so happens to be the Prince’s best friend? Providing emotional support whenever he should need it? Enough tragic backstory to make the Prince feel better about himself, but selfless enough not to overshadow his own problems.’

            The words cut right to his heart. All those times he’d pushed his own issues out of the way to focus on Noct … all those rooftop conversations and strolls through the park after school. The times he’d bit back from complaining about his own uncaring parents, his own insecurities… Fuck. No. _Push it out of your mind. He’s just trying to get to you, with that insidious, prying voice of his. Don’t let him._

            ‘I’m his _friend_ ,’ Prompto said, spitting the words out. ‘That’s what friends do, no matter what.’

            Ardyn didn’t attempt to hide his scorn. ‘It sounds just like the role someone in one of the Prince’s beloved superhero shows would take on. How utterly predictable.’

            ’Sh-shut up!’

            ‘And what’s more…’ Ardyn’s eyes darkened. ‘Did you not wonder why it’s always you he’s trying to save? You’re his _motivation._ You are here to play a critical role in his personal development. Shame he wound up taking you so seriously he had to get professional help for it. But really, now, what good did those pills do? You’re still here.’ Ardyn laughed.

            What the man was implying was too much to comprehend, and yet, a small part of Prompto’s mind understood. And traitorous thoughts were hard to push away once they began to unfurl like that. All the moments when people had ignored him, when he’d felt _invisible_. Even his own parents never really acted like he was there.

            His parents … now, the strangest thing about that was he couldn’t quite recall their faces. They were always just out of reach. Absent because of work, right? Uninterested in their fostered immigrant son. Unavailable.

            _What did they look like in the photos?_

            He cursed now, earning him a look of faux shock from Ardyn.

            ‘Hush, now. That’s incredibly unbecoming.’

            ‘I don’t … I don’t care!’ Prompto forced the words out through gritted teeth, the urge to swear again rising. The obvious question teetered on his tongue and eventually he asked. ‘Why? Why do this?’

            ‘You’re the perfect spark for this fuse to light up. This final little growth spurt our Noct has to go through. It’s time the young Prince healed entirely, and that means getting rid of you,’ Ardyn murmured lazily, tracing delicate patterns on Prompto’s vest. ‘Otherwise he’ll never grow strong enough to give me what I want. And besides … you do want him to get better, don’t you?’

            Prompto seethed. He didn’t want to give Ardyn an answer. His mind raced, because what Ardyn was telling him was starting to seem more plausible by the minute.

            There was only one thing that didn’t add up.

            If he really was an illusion, then…

            ‘Why can you see me?’

            His voice was meek, more so than he would have liked.

            ‘Oh, you finally thought to ask? Well, perhaps it is time I reveal to you my true name.’

            And Ardyn did. He regaled Prompto with a tale so ridiculous and unbelievable that, had Prompto not seen the starscourge leaking from the man’s deadened eyes, the evidence of the Oracular healing power gone so terribly wrong, he would have thought Ardyn crazy. Well. Not that he wasn’t that too, and it seemed such madness ran in Noct’s family.

            ‘Interesting as it has been to talk to this terribly naive and entertaining part of the young Prince’s psyche, I ought to go and greet the star of the show himself,’ Ardyn murmured. And he left Prompto in the cell then, humming a jaunty tune as he went.

 

Prompto opened hazy eyes to the sound of banging on the cell bars before him. The silhouette of spiked hair shaking back and forth as a dark shape thrust itself at the door.

            ‘Noctis, it’s time you stopped this charade,’ Ignis said, letting his walking stick clatter to the ground and pulling the Prince away from the metal bars. ‘There’s nobody in there.’

            Prompto’s heart skipped one beat too many. He tugged against his restraints. What … why was Ignis saying that?

            Noctis seemed just as upset.

            ‘But we have to save him! We have to save Prompto!’

            ‘I think we’ve indulged you your fantasy long enough.’

            ‘Look, he’s right there, don’t you…?’

            ‘C’mon, Your Highness.’ Gladio joined in now, barrelling Noctis away from the bars and steadying him. ‘He’s not real. ‘Bout time you accepted that.’

            ‘I…’ Noctis started to speak, breath hitching like he was about to shout again, but he broke off and sobbed into Gladio’s chest. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry…’

            ‘I can believe the Chancellor would use the Prince’s mental condition to coax him away from the Crystal, but to this extent, it’s… it’s just cruel,’ Ignis muttered to Gladio while he fished for his cane.

            ‘Yeah. One more reason to introduce him to my fist when we meet.’

            Together they led the sobbing Prince away, and despite Prompto’s cries, nobody gave him so much as a backward glance.

            It hurt, being alone in the darkness. Every step Noctis took further and further away from him, the weaker he felt.

            _Is that why you were always so weak in battle? Because you weren’t a ‘whole’ person? What will happen when Noctis leaves you for good?_

Maybe he would just disintegrate. Maybe he’d fade. He didn’t want to find out.

            He sniffed, and that noise, at least, sounded real enough.

            Gods above, what Ardyn had said _had_ to be a lie. This had to just be part of the man’s cruel machinations, never mind how much it made all the weird moments in his life just make _sense_.

            What he saw in front of him, what he _felt_ , that was all real. Right?

            After hours of silence, Prompto’s cries had simmered down into hopeless prayers, the kind spoken not because he believed they would come to pass, but because he had run out of all other options.

            ‘I wanna be with you, Noct. Please, don’t leave me.’

 

**Author's Note:**

> [The prompt in question](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/337001623933157389/405330629496930304/Screenshot_2018-01-24-00-58-37.png)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [We Dream of Stardust](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499936) by [LiaLox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiaLox/pseuds/LiaLox)




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